Earlier this week I learned the very unpleasant tidbit of information that a former colleague of mine had betrayed my trust, and that this had in turn contributed to my losing my job. Was I livid? You better believe it. Did I want to immediately lash out and confront this person? Affirmative. I have always prided myself on being someone that doesn’t take crap from anyone, someone who is able to stand up for herself and fight back. “Nobody better mess with Jeannie Page!” had been a life-long credo…
Thankfully I had been on my way to yoga class when I got this news. Furious from the news, feeling absolutely betrayed by someone I had trusted, and completely keyed up as a result, I knew that I had to calm myself and meditate on the issue. Once on the mat, I began to breathe deeply. As I moved through the poses I focused deeply on the issue at hand. What was the right response? Would I email this person, tell them that I knew what they had done, and essentially tell them off? Here it was 4 months later since I’d lost my job. Would there be any point to confronting this person? Would it help me in any way?
Well, my main purpose with starting this blog was to write about life’s challenges, with the intention of approaching them from a more enlightened space. I immediately recognized that I was faced with an opportunity to do just that. I’ve been practicing yoga and meditation long enough to know all too well about the human ego. I knew immediately that my response of anger, my desire to retaliate, was an entirely natural human response… but that it was in fact a response of the ego. My ego had been wronged and my ego wanted revenge. But what would that accomplish? It really didn’t matter WHAT or WHOM had contributed to me losing my job. The fact of the matter was that I had already lost the job and there was no turning back.
I knew there was only one right answer, one enlightened answer. The answer was to do nothing, to say nothing, and to simply rise above it. Now this certainly would leave my ego feeling entirely unsatisfied, but I recognized that the way to truly have strength in this situation was to walk away from it and move beyond it. I had to be stronger than my ego. But beyond that, I also recognized that I had an opportunity to take this to a place of even higher vibration: a place of gratitude. You see, I actually owe this person a “thank you”, for they have helped to liberate me from the chains of corporate oppression and to release me from a very unhealthy situation. They have allowed me to make a much-needed shift in my life and to align with my true path, a path of higher awareness, conscious creation and {hopefully!} inspirational writing.
So, how am I going to react? I am simply sending thoughts of gratitude.
And I say to you, that if you find yourself in my position, and having been betrayed or frankly screwed over by someone…stop and think for a minute. Find the silver lining in the situation, look for the good that has come from it (or that WILL come from it!), and instead of seeking revenge, send them thoughts of gratitude.
You’ve truly come a long way baby! Very proud of you.
Thanks P! ; )
A beautiful lesson for us all here. I have been thinking about when it is appropriate to “speak our truth” and when we should be silent. It is not so easy to discern at times. I can see I need to spend more time on this issue as it is still unclear to me. I agree that, in this case, your response was perfect. Sometimes, I feel that being silent helps perpetuate a wrong and then feel I must speak out. Of course, the beginning point is to to check my motives, and if I do decide to speak out, to be sure I am doing it from a position of love. Well….big task, but worth working on. Thanks for helping me think more about this. Hugs, pat
Thanks for your insightful comments Pat. 🙂
This is lovely.
I’ve been thinking on/experiencing/writing about this a lot lately. Yesterday in my Kundalini yoga class we did a kriya for relieving inner anger and I had a huge emotional release. The thing about anger is that it is stored in our very cells if we do not release it somehow. I think the danger on the path of spirit is when we think “I should not feel angry” and then we don’t allow ourselves to (not that you did this – it was clear you felt it and moved through). My teacher read a quote by Osho where he spoke of the fact that underneath all anger is pain and if we can allow ourselves to move through the anger (safely) into feeling the pain, then it can truly be healed. It is not an easy path. We are spiritual beings having a human experience and anger is part of that. We are not taught to deal with it in our culture. I love that more people are talking about it. And gratitude is one of the ultimate healers. 🙂 Thank you for sharing your journey of love and light.
Hi Alana, I completely agree with you. Stuffing anger down and in is definitely not a wise choice. I’ve seen too many people end up with diseases for not releasing and expressing. I think like Pat says, the tough part is knowing when is the appropriate time and forum to release. For me the yoga and the meditation has really helped me to be able to work through the anger, without having to hit the person over the head. : )
I like that you mentioned Osho. Another friend of mine has mentioned his writings to me recently, so I’ve been reading his book about courage. His writings really resonate with me.
Thank you for reading, for writing and for sharing this path with me. : )
I just read this post and tears came to my eyes. This is so perfect for things I’ve been dealing
with lately, things that threaten to break me. It’s like you can be so inspirational and positive but, when negativity & bad things become overwhelming it’s like you can’t breathe & the only way you will is if you get to the bottom of it & become vengeful because you feel that you’ve worked hard and you don’t deserve it. It’s such a battle and it can wear on a person. It’s so hard to just walk away, especially when an unresolved situation carries your name. I’m in a bad place…& this is a blessing because at least I can look at it from a different perspective & begin anew. it’s gonna be so hard though & it hurts. Thanks for this Jeannie.
Hi Jeannie, very wise advice. But it takes a lot of courage to send ‘thoughts of gratitude’ when you feel let down. I can (now)and I know that this is the single biggest factor that is holding me back in business (even though I am director in charge of a very successful territory of 120 consultants). My journey is to help people and enable them to find success. Not such an easy thing to do when forced to make staff redundant due to the economic crisis. But at least I can rest easy because my ego is not in control. Take care, Stephen
Hi Jeannie,
I actually subscribed to your blog.I like the way you share your personal encounters and the way you responded to this kind of stimulus is indeed stronger than ego.
I remembered my spiritual teacher who told me that the most effective weapon to any undesirable situation and the person who caused any undesirable situation,is “Silence.”
Silence is sharper than the sharpest sword, louder than the loudest sound.
You simply did the right thing!
Keep it up,
Maricor
Hi Maricor,
Thank you so much for reading and for your wise comments. It is so true and poignant that silence is often the most powerful weapon. One of the toughest lessons to learn I think.
Thanks for sharing!
Namaste,
Jeannie
You certainly have come leaps and bounds Jeannie! What a relatable life lesson.
this post is very timely for me. i was recently betrayed by someone very close to me, and i’ve been working on trying to feel the gratitude for what it has brought me, rather than focusing on what i lost. i’ll keep working on it! thanks for the post.
Kristen, I know how hard it is. You´re allowed to feel angry, but it will definitely help you move past it if you can focus on the good in the situation. We´re all working on this!
I agree! I have found that feeding the ego only makes it stronger, but starving the ego shrinks it. There are certainly no coincidences either. It sounds like you did end up on the better side of things in the end with your job. Nice post and good reminder for us. 🙂
Thank you so much! You are right that I ended up on the better side of things. 🙂
Thanks! Great advice!! It’s hard to be quiet in this type of situation but necessary.
Gratefully,
Maria 🙂
Thank You ,
For the first time -in my life , on January -My friend Had betrayed My Trust _ too @a .
I learned a lot . .since then @.
I Thanked Her _too @.
Because after all this time She is My Only Friend – I care Her a lot .
But on the contrary _ ” the above” wise words .
My friend is the One _who take the Silence -Discernment @.
We both have some mistakes _
But . . .
Thanks .To my friend which I had Now .
I understand about her “Act” _ now @.
Terima kasih ( T H A N K Y O U ) @.